11/01/2013
SIX LESSONS OF LIFE
Lesson 1: Naked Wife..
A man is getting into the shower just as
his wife
is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The
wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs
downstairs. When she opens the door,
there stands
Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a
word,
Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman
drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars
and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the
towel
and
goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom,
her husband asks,…"Who was that?" "It was Bob
the next door
neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the
husband
says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information
pertaining to
credit and risk with your share holders in time, you
may be
in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
"Lesson 2" A sales rep, an administration clerk,
and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an
antique
oil
lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The
Genie
says,"I’ll give each of you just one wish" "Me
first! Me
first!" says the administration clerk. "I want to
be in
the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world." P**f! She’s gone. "Me
next! Me next!"
says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii,
relaxing on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the love of
my life."
P**f!
He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the Genie says
to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two
back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss
have the first
say. "Lesson 3"
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in
and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The
priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
nun
said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
priest removed his hand. But, changing gears,
he let his
hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again
said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized
"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak"
Arriving at
the
convent, the nun went on her way. On
his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up
Psalm
129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further
up, you
will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed
in your
job, you might miss a great opportunity.
"Lesson 4" A crow was sitting on a tree, doing
nothing all day. A
rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
ground
below the
crow, and rested....A fox jumped on the rabbit
and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and
doing
nothing,
you must be sitting very high up
"Lesson 5: Power of Charisma" A turkey was chatting with a bull "I would love
to be
able to get to the top of that tree,"
sighed the
turkey,
"but I haven’t got the energy." "Well, why don’t you
nibble on my droppings?” replied the
bull.
"They’re
packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a
lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
strength
to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached
the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, there
he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he
was
spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree. Moral of the story: Bu****it might get you
to the
top,
but it wont keep you there.
"Lesson 6" A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
was so
cold the bird froze and fell to the ground
into a
large
field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and
dropped some dung on him. As the
frozen bird
lay
there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was
actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm
and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard
the bird
singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under
the
pile of
cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate
him. Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who s**ts on you is your
enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of s**t
is your friend 3. And when you’re in deep s**t, it’s best
to keep
your
mouth shut !
