24/10/2026
I am currently lying in bed in hospital, opposite a young woman who is having everything thrown at her that no 25yr old should have thrown at them, in fact no age should. 😪
Fortunately for her, though many may see it as rather unfortunate 🤣, she is in a room with 3 women at varying stages of the menopause who offered their wise words of wisdom, albeit whilst high on drugs 😉. Alarmingly, I was on drugs that that I am positive were used on Duke when we put him to sleep 🤫. I knew I was becoming more animal like! 😁
Anyway, this got me thinking. As most people, I have been through tough times in life, but I believe things happen for a reason, though we don't know at the time what the reason is. I also believe we should learn from these episodes.
For many years, I thought the learning just happened, but in a drug induced light bulb moment, 💡, I realised tonight that this actually isn't the case, or at least may not fully be.
I realised that when these awful times happen, we must at some point, and it can't necessarily be at the time it is happening, look at ourselves and question what we would like to improve.
Here's an example, as it is not to say that our behaviours caused the bad things to happen, but that there may be things we want to or could change about ourselves.
I would have said that I was an argumentative person, in fact, I think my parents would tell you that I was an argumentative child, 🤷♀️, though I would possibly disagree with this accusation.
When what felt like everything going wrong in my life all at the same time, one of the things I blamed, was me being argumentative and how that could have antagonised another person (in reality, it was no excuse for the behaviour that was happening).
When things started to calm down, I started to look at me and what I didn't like about myself or felt I could improve. What kind of person did I want to be? What did I need to change to make me a better person? Not because of what had happened, or to please others, but to be a better me FOR me, therefore, in turn, having a better life moving forward. There were many things... because I am critical of my self, my own biggest critic ....but that was too big a job to change 😬 I chose my argumentative nature. I didn’t like being argumentative , and in fact, it had got me in to trouble as a child many times with my parents. So, that was something I needed to look at. I'm not going to say it was easy, or that I never argue anymore, but more often than not, I don't argue back.
This isnt to say I just lay down and accept things. Absolutely not! That isn't in my nature! 🤣 But, I learned to give my point more concisely: more direct, clearer, and with a more authoritative tone. I say my piece and then stay quiet and move on. Sometimes, I pick my battles, it just isn't worthy of my time or upset.
Just had a thought.....maybe my patents will still tell you I'm argumentative! 🤔 I try really hard not to be, but maybe, just sometimes, I let things slip 🤣
Anyway, my 💡 .... we can learn from the toughest times, but perhaps this needs us to honestly look at ourselves and work at making us even better than we are? No need to go big, just the small things that we can actually change if we make a little effort, and actually just to make life easier and smoother for ourselves.
On a slightly different note, the staff have been fantastic. 5 hour operation. Whilst the drugs make my limbs feel they don't belong to me, the pain continues at varying degrees. 😢
On a plus note, I am not getting battered by the storm seeing to the animals.😁 Huge thanks to my parents and Niall for that! ❤️ They are probably going to need a lot of patience, and sympathy, over the next 6 weeks as I recover, especially as one of the things is not being able to lift anything heavy. My independence and stubbornness were clearly not things I saw as weaknesses or things to improve in my journey of self reflection. 🤣🤣🤣 I do not make for a good patient!
Apologies if my rambling make no sense whatsoever! Normal services will resume shortly, unless I make better sense in this state and I need to consider some options 😉
