07/16/2026
World Cup soccer final coffee roaster predictions are in and here is the "reasoning":
Spain (much like France was) is favored to win, statistically. However, how much this year has followed normal assumptions or made sense in reality (not much)? Here are a few examples:
1. We are now cautioned against once healthy fresh vegetables due to explosive diarrhea (blamed on Taco Bell suddenly when they've probably caused explosive diarrhea since opening).
2. A fictional comedy, Co***ne Bear, of a disgruntled wild animal has resurfaced in real life at Yellowstone Park as what I call "Co***ne Bison Hprror," though I hope the Bison just joined the Land Back movement (and not mad at that!) and was in active protest.
3. Washington DC conducted a 45min massive fireworks display in a heat wave and summer filled with wildfires = adding to poor air quality, in celebratory fashion.
Events seem out of kilter these days, so Im taking a cue from the universe instead of defying her with "math." I pick Argentina for the (underdog?) win (also because they actually can win!). I predict Spain coming out strong, wearing themselves out and pulling cards while Argentina holds energy for later scores (which is also a risk, but one I think they can manage). But, I was WAY wrong about the other games so God only knows.
Cheers to clearer air Sunday and a good game!
