Firecat Coffee

10/27/2026

The new menu boards are in... Oh yeah... Now if I could just stay awake at the counter. These non-stop, all hours filled work days and work nights are brutal, yo. As to the wordy menu: For those who read, you will be comedically rewarded! Enjoy the lols.

10/07/2026

The newly designed menu board coming soon... Attaching to a Firecat Coffee building near you!

10/02/2026

Coming Soon...

Violent Exposition
-
Mean, like a MMA fighter whose wife took everything in the divorce settlement. Kind, like a MMA fighter whose wife took everything the divorce settlement, but still maintains a professional public persona whilst hosting a withering soul behind his dead, dead eyes. Yes, this is the kind of bottled-up angst we conceal behind a facade of soothing flavors. Our energy drink of dispute contains Peppermint and Créam De Menth both of whom hides their dirty secrets behind a mask of Salted Carmel and Butterscotch. Let that flavoring argue it out in the cage match behind your lips.

10/01/2026

Coming soon...

Five Across The Eyes
-
This one will do in a fix. We smack your taste probiscis around with fruity flavors, just the way your lick te****le likes it. Rocking that slobberhole with a mango flavored energy drink, and brutalizing it with banana, peach, cherry, and raspberry I guess. By the time the flavors mix, your oral wiggle-meat won't be able to distinguish any of them. No worries though. That just means it's good!

09/30/2026

Coming Soon...

The Firecat Drink Of Masochism
-
Listen pal, you don't want this one. This is the kind of drink for people that would open the Lament Configuration knowing full well that the cenobites would come for them. It is a burning cinnamon hot, icy energy drink. Hot and cold, punching you right in the @$ #% #&% mouth with pure contradiction. Not recommended. You'll need a glass of milk close by if that says anything. Or if you're into flogging yourself, maybe this is the kind of self-loathing in drink form that you've been searching for. So what do I know? I'm just a menu. I'm not your dad.

09/29/2026

Aaaaaaannnnnddd... We're back, baby! Electrical upgrades completed, yo!

09/26/2026

Good day, you coffee fanatics of doomy-doom! This is an alert, one that will surely be observed by the gods themselves! Firecat Coffee will be closed on the day of the 28th so that the electric company and maintenance electrician can replace our slowly dying meter. The poor bastard has seen better days, and will take most of the 28th to safely remove and replace. Worry not, we shall give the meter a proper Viking funeral for its service to the god emperor Adam Fire Cat in his quest to sell coffee to the public and then onwards to destroying the world... I mean... totally NOT destroying the world! We will return the next day, the 29th for those that don't do calendar math. Hopefully, Adam Fire Cat will get a full night's rest for a change, and not be passed out on the sales counter as he is want to do, as working every night and day in a non-stop loop can be a harsh mistress. Being said, we will miss your money... I mean miss you, but we shall only be down for a day. Thus, worry not our Army Of Doomy-Doom! The world is not long for this world...

09/09/2026

08/01/2026

Among the bingo callers last night, Adam Fire Cat makes a guest appearance for the Fenix Arts game at the Millar Lodge at Mount Sequoyah. Wackiness ensued... Fun as all get out! Would do again!

07/14/2026

Among the hosted bingo callers for the "Bingo A-Go-Go" Fenix Arts event on the thirty-first of this month will be... Adam Fire Cat?! How is this event not selling out?! And will he be wearing the troll wig? and will he look sexy in it? And what does that say about me for asking? Hmmm... I have to go do some self-reflection...